


Emptiness

by TimeonSpace



Category: South Park
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anal Fingering, Angst, Bakery and Coffee Shop, Bisexual Male Character, Blow Jobs, Depressing, Depression, Dom/sub Undertones, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Eating Disorders, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Eric Cartman Being Eric Cartman, First Kiss, First Time, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Internalized Homophobia, Kyle Broflovski & Stan Marsh Friendship, Kyle in Denial, Kyman - Freeform, Kyman Week 2020 (South Park), Light BDSM, M/M, My First Fanfic, My First Smut, No Beta, Possessive Behavior, Slash, Suicide Attempt, They are all 18 so technically not underage, eventual caring Eric Cartman
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:08:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28226655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TimeonSpace/pseuds/TimeonSpace
Summary: After being depressed for a while Kyle decides to kill himself with pills and after having a game night while being drunk he tells it to Cartman. Cartman doesn't know what to do with that info, or how to feel about it.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Eric Cartman/Heidi Turner, Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger
Comments: 5
Kudos: 56





	1. Empty

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first even fanfic ever so, please be nice. I am open to all kind of critics and advices! I have no beta and English is not my native language so if you see a mistake please tell me, and I am always open to roleplays.  
> ALSO HOW do you double space in AO3, I can' even.

After all these years of fucked up childhood the four boys somehow still managed to stick together. After all those adventures and fucked up shit they went with how they could not.

Maybe not as much as they used to, but they were still kinda meeting once in a while. Kenny got a job at a local coffee shop that opened right next to Tweak Coffee shop, (which Mr. Tweak was not that happy about) but at least Kenny could fill out his free time now, and he could actually afford things now and even planning to get a car next year. Stan was usually spending most of his time with Wendy, sure they were kinda on and off for while since they were 9 but now they were steady for almost for 6 months, and he was happy to be with his childhood sweetheart.

Cartman kinda grew out of his sociopathic tendencies, at least according to his standards. Now he was not much than a racist and sexist than a regular Republican, probably with puberty he realised how fucked up his actions were. He was still an asshole and racist but at least he appeared to be more normal and just messing with Kyle for the sake of bickering and not actually meaning then (at least thats what Kyle thought, hoping he is not too optimistic and trying to fool himself) because even though he did not and would not admit to himself, but he was pretty much getting along pretty well with him now, their interests were similar, and he was easy to talk, with Stan almost always spending his time between Wendy and his football practice now days he was the closest with Cartman. The conversations with him were just passing with him more organically but out of vanity he would never admit that, and he did not want to lose his leverage of ‘I wish it was Stan here instead of you fat ass’, it was fun to piss off Cartman like how he was always pissing him off. They did not have a deep heart to hearth relationship unlike his friendship with Stan but there was a mutual agreement between them and with unspoken words without actually needing to have a gay feelings talk they could communicate. If Kyle had a rough day Cartman would understand and order him extra tater tots next to his pizza, just kind act of thoughtfulness. That is the most of thoughtfulness he saw from Cartman ever in his life, and it was weirdly very comforting. They would play on their consoles silently while Cartman making offensive comments over daily things. Kyle still enjoyed them very much, thank god Cartman didin't realise how much he actually enjoys those nights. Sometimes they would even drink Liane's fancy alcoholoic beverages just to make the silence more comfortable.

Even with Cartman they were not meeting outside of the school that much, with the group they were meeting maybe once or twice to play video games, and then they usually finish the night early because Kenny usually has work at the morning, Stan had football practice. So he and Cartman were sometimes playing one or two hours more and then call the night because Kyle would have classes to study and colleges to apply. Cartman would always encouraging him to be a lawyer saying he would feel there 'just like his home' he thought it was to call him a sneaky snake but Kyle is %100 sure it is just to mock him more if he would be the Jewish stereotype. Between applications and AP classes that was his life now, not even talking much at his friends at school as they used to because now almost all of them had different classes and since Kyle was taking AP classes he has less common classes then the other 3. Even he sometimes could not eat lunch with them because his AP biology son of a bitch teacher would not let them go until they finish their homework. Between classes Kyle would not admit, but he was unhappy and probably depressed.

He was applying to colleges because that is what was expected of him, not because he actually wanted to, He was actually good at his classes but it was not a passion driven academic success; he was successful because he did not know what else to do. Before all of this, he was getting excited when he got an A now he could not care less, yet a B was not good enough, he was putting a façade when he was meeting with his friends and eating with his family, but he was not feeling even, anything, life was a full darkness for him. He wanted to cease to exist, just not live this life anymore even daily small tasks like eating and brushing his hair were a torture to him. Thank god hats were still a big part of his wardrobe so he did not at least had to take care of his hair regularly, which now days washing his hair brushing his teeth were the only things he was doing in sake of self care. He was kinda happy with hats anyways because his hair was a big insecurity of his so he was grateful to the cold climate of Colorado.

Then that day miraculously his Bio teacher let them go early, that meant he could actually eat with his friends instead skipping lunch, because he usually was not bothering to go to cafeteria for a 10-minute lunch, so that was kind of became a pattern of him, it was not even bothering him anymore, he was not feeling hungry anymore. Maybe a side effect of not feeling anything, he was eating just to fit in and if he could sometimes he would skip dinner too if his parents were not at home, why bother to eat if not to put out a show. 

"Hello" said Kyle sitting next to Stan with his tray

"Wow dude, you teacher actually let you go early?"

"Yeah I guess he did not bother to prepare us work to do to torture, even demons get bored I guess"

‘What wold you know of demons anyway Kahl, not like you know any- wait you know! How’s your mom?’

"Shut up Fat ass" Kyle said, he was never enjoying him making fun of his mother but it kinda made him smirk.

"So we are on this Friday?’"said Kenny, while eating a sandwich he got from the coffee shop he was working, the coffee shop owner was usually giving the things that were not sold at the end of the day to Kenny that was a good deal for him, so he did not have to eat crappy cafeteria food everyday.

"What's happening on friday?" asked Kyle,

"Kenny! we were not gonna tell him that we were gonna raid the Synagogue! If you forget he is a J-E-W" he spelled like Kyle would not understand it like that

"Now he will try to stop us, good job Kenny"

"Very funny Cartman" said Stan while eating the last piece of his chowder.

"We are meeting at Cartman’s house to game, apparently Red Dead Redemption 3 gets realised on Friday and Cartmans mom preordered it, and she got him on the gold list, so he is getting one shipped to him!"

"I really cant believe how you got your mom to get it." Said Kenny while sipping his soda

"-getting on the gold list must be really hard"

"It must be a hard concept for you to grasp Kenny but apparently some of has actually money to spend on things other that groceries"

"Fuck you Cartman, she probably slept with the company that made the game anyways" Kenny said while sucking the straw of the soda he finished

"EYY!" Cartman said "Not kewl Kenny, you know any moment you can be uninvited and it would be better without a poor guy trying to eat my food outta fridge to survive!’

"Okay man whatever" Kenny rolled his eyes while smiling, he obviously wanted to play the game so badly to not bicker back. Kyle used to love that game but even that was not giving him any sparkles of joy not even bits of joy. He missed feeling something, anything.

"So you in Kyle?" said Cartman rolled his eyes to Kyle.

Kyle was looking at him back now, Cartman was obviously not morbidly obese like he used to be when he was a child, he was still chubby but would not enough to be called a fat ass, but the nickname kinda sticked with him, and it was obviously annoying Cartman, so they kept on using it just to fuck with him. Kyle was not skinny by any means, he even had some mildly muscles he kept from playing basketball, but he did not play for almost a year since he ‘wanted to focus on his studies.’ Mostly because it more became like a feeling of 'less a fun exercise or reasons to just get annoyed'. He thought it was useless and instead he could use his time to study instead of spending on something useless like basketball, and he already played enough to write it on his Uni applications, so he didn't need to spend his time on one more thing he felt more depressed doing it.

"I might even sneak some beer from my dads stash" Stan said, Kyle felt a fraction of buzz and excitement, at least now maybe he could drink enough to forget how miserable he is while he's around his friends.

"He even probably would not notice since he buys them in bulk. He probably would drink to death one day so its better for us to drink instead of him feeding his alcoholism" shrugged Stan.

"Wohoo, free booze" giggled Kenny.

"I bet if it were free you would even to wohoo to an empty coffin and even get in it Kenny." smirked Cartman

Kenny frowned and punched Cartmans arm, then they all started laughing. They are so happy- thought Kyle, they actually are happy, smiled sadly and even chuckled a bit, at least his friends were happy.

Then it clicked on Kyle, this friday could be it. Like one last time with his friends like a big jubilee, and ode to the good old times, then he could finally end it. His emptiness would be go away, he could hang around with his friends,have fun and that would be the end. He would not have to suffer like this. Feeling nothing is way worse than feeling sad because when you feel sad the pain goes away a while that but in his case he was living in constant emptiness, nothing, he was in timeless agony he wondered if there is an actual Jewish hell, if there was a hell this must be it.

‘Unlike you Kyle, Kenny at least would take coffin because he might not afford it later when he needs it, unlike a greedy Jew like you who would just take it just because it is free.’ smirked Cartman

‘and you wouldn’t take it Cartman because your fat ass would not fit in ’ said Kyle smiling, and Stan and Kenny chucked to that except Cartman, who sulked.

‘I am not fat I am just big-boned.’ Said Cartman

‘Keep telling that to yourself so one day you might actually believe in it fatass’ declared Kyle smiling genuinely maybe for the first time in a very long time and took his first bite out of his food. He was happy, now he can actually be happy because this suffering would end this friday.

Friday finally came, Kyle was as happy can he can be with his clouded thoughts, on the way to his house he made a quick walk to the pharmacy to get some pills, he researched on the internet that it would be the less painful. He thought of the messy ways to go with too, just to fuck Cartman one last time considered to slit his wrists in his bathroom just for him to deal with cleaning his blood, but he did not want to go in a that messy way. Also if Liane, Kenny or Stan would find him they could be traumatized. He certainly did not want that. But thinking of giving the middle finger to Cartman one last time and and the idea fucking him up for good and finally getting his revernge for all the shit Cartman put him through when they were little made him amused Although officiallt Stan was his best friend he doubts if Stan would miss him, now he has Wendy, so he would probably get sad for a while then go on with his life after a while, Kenny did see some much more fucked up shit and even lived a few himself, so he would be probably the safest Kyle thought. His parents would get sad but at least they have Ike, so they can hold onto life and live happily when they forget about Kyle. Cartman couldn’t probably care less, he might even be happy how Kyle choose to go. Popping pills like a whiny bitch he would call him coward and would probably say something like ‘He went as he lived like a teenage bitch with sand in his vagina.’ he might maybe get sad after because he could not say that straight to his face, but he had to live with that.

For some reason thinking that made Kyle really sad, he could feel tears in his eye,s he could always blame it in the snow if someone saw him, but he knew the truth.Killing himself was not a big deal for him, but realising people around him not giving a fuck about him made him kinda bitter. And lastly Cartman now being the person he enjoyed spending his time with most, not caring at all about him hurt like hell. He thought maybe in the past he would be happy but now maybe, maybe be would get sad maybe for a minute or so. Maybe he would feel bad because he lost the jew he loved to make fun and bicker or maybe because he loved to have someone who fought back to his offensive jokes in a righteous way maybe, he secretly wished that. Thinking even for those reasons Cartman feeling sad for Kyle made Kyle's hearth ache, for some reason. He felt the drops of tears that were hanging so hard not to fall, falling from his cheeks. It would not matter he thought, after tonight everything would be over.

‘Kyle?’

he heard a voice.

He was so dislocated from the reality that he forgat there were actually other people around walking. He turned around to see the source of the voice and quickly wiped his tears to his sleeve like a 5 year old, pathetic. He was so unaware of the World around him that only looking at the source of the familiar voice made him realize the person. It was obviously irony of the fate,;Cartman standing next to him, holding a Walmart paper bag under his arm looking curious but not surprised.

‘Yeah it’s okay I just got some snow into my eyes.’

The lie that he prepared finally paid off although the realization of it was not snowing anymore hit him, dammit, how he was so out of reality that he did not realised the snow on his skin. For some reason Cartman did not comment on that thankfully.

‘Whatever Jew’ he said he was weirdly uninterested on how he literally caught Kyle crying to himself while walking, if it was old Cartman he could not escape from his vitriolic jokes he would personally e-mail to whole school. This was a sign that Cartman actually matured or maybe he was not even caring that much to bother, somehow that option was more painful to imagine. He quickly tried to get the little plastic bag Kyle even forgat he was carrying with him ‘Did you buy condoms for me how thoughtful Kyle, but all you needed to do was to ask I would fuck you without those sneaky messages.’ He tried to reach for it and Kyle quickly pulled his hand with panic. Cartman stopped and started at him

'Damn relax, I was only gonna check if it’s the brand I liked geez.’ He said half playfully half more curiously.

‘I am not interested in your secret tampons gosh, you get really defensive in your period, ha?’

Kyle’s heart started to go back its own usual rate which he did not realize started to beat that fast. He put the small bag into his pocked and looked at Cartman,

‘None of your business Fat ass.’ Then there was an awkward silence between them, Kyle realised how impulsively and guilty he acted he should’ve learned to work at stress by now but thinking if he did learn he would not be planning to kill himself that night. A day full of irony great.

‘So what made you go to Walmart?’ Kyle asked with an attempt to end the awkward energy he created.

‘I just wanted some extra booze, like hard alcohol vodka and stuff, I’ve got my mom’s id so went all the way and got some snacks of course. Next time I am taking her car to this was a bitch of a road to walk on, especially with all that icy sidewalk I almost tripped twice trying to walk’ He said.

‘You would fall into your fat ass and would not hurt yourself so don’t sweat on it Cartman’ said Kyle, he was glad how easily Cartman managed to switch it up, it was always easy to catch with him.

‘Very funny, you would not speak that way if I did actually break my ass.’

‘You can’t physically break your ass Cartman it is impossible.’ Kyle deadpanned, but mildy amused to the pure ignorance of Cartman's biology knowledge

‘You are just saying that because you want me to try it and actually break it just to prove that. I am not falling for that you sneaky snake.’ Kyle rolled his eyes

‘Whatever, if you try to do that make sure to record it, so we all can enjoy.’

‘Hey, you would of course like that Jew.’ Kyle can’t help to smile to that picture in his head, and he could actually imagine seeing Cartman trying that to prove it to Kyle. He could actually get that competitive with Kyle.

‘You are coming tonight right?’

‘Sure’

‘Then bring your tampons with you tonight I don't want you bleeding all over my sofa.’

‘Can’t promise that fatass’ he said smilingly

‘Don't be late, my mom is making us Tacos.’ Cartman walked to the opposite direction, to his house

‘See you’

He almost wished he had one more day, so he could see Cartman trying to break his ass. But it was decided, he liked to be punctual he believed procrastinating would always make things more complicated ,so tonight was the night. He was finally gonna kill himself.


	2. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here the second chapter, just in time I promised. The angst starts here! I will try to keep uploading with this pace and frequency but I don't promise it since the finals start next week. but I will try to upload as soon as possible. Please like and comment, and thank you for your all sweet words! Anyways enjoy""

The night was going much more better than Kyle estimated, it could even be called enjoyable by any means.

Kenny was too busy to notice anything going on while playing the game and probably way to drunk to function. Stan on the other hand was equally drunk but at the opposite of the spectrum. He could not stop ranting about his dad’s last shenanigans, apparently he had a new project on growing weed on the moon, it was so damn stupid but Kyle could not care less about it he was just happy that he was spending some time listening his best friend, he took one more sip straight from the vodka, he had no idea where the fuck Cartman was, probably throwing up in the bathroom or doing some sneaky shit but he could not care less, after tonight he will no longer be his problem. He didn't care anymore, he could even declare an other World War. On second thought maybe he should’ve check on him. At that moment Cartman came back from kitchen with a plate full of tacos, apparently the first 2 plates were not enough for him.

“dude I am telling you she was so into you, so what do you say?”

“what” Kyle turned to Stan, palpably Stan finished talking about his father, maybe he should’ve listened better, instead of zoning out or worrying about what Cartman was up to. It was an other plate of tacos apparently.

“what were we talking about again?”

“dude were you not listening to me, c’me on.”

Kyle looked at him dumbfounded

“I go with a blind eye ans say you hopefully finished talking about your father and he isn't the one whos into me”

“dude sick”

“so what you fags talking about” Cartman said while sitting on the floor between Stan and Kyle, Stan looked kinda baffled, maybe because of the alcohol, or… what was he even talking about.

“Nothing”

“Oh come on hippy, you can’t start telling something so juicy and then stop, unless you were talking about Testaburger’s tits because they were like –fiyou- am I right Kenny?”

Kenny just hummed as a way of approval without separating his eyes from the screen, he probably was not even know what he was agreeing too, but thinking it is Kenny he might've agreed willingly to Cartman's inappropriate comment on Stan's girlfriend.

“Not cool fat ass that is my girlfriend you are talking about, take it back”

“stop being pissy I was just stating a general fact, at best you should take it as a complement” said Cartman while taking a big bite from the taco while spilling half of the ingredients to the plate.

“Bastard” whispered Stan taking the bottle from Kyle’s hand and taking a swig.

“So what you two were talking about, are you finally announcing that you’ve been butt fucking for years and now decided to get married”

“Yeah Cartman exactly that” deadpanned Stan turning his head away from Cartman.

“Come oon” said Cartman, putting the taco plate on the unoccupied nesting table, which he lost his interest in since now there is a possiblity of a big scoop.

“Fine, Bebe has a crush on Kyle. I was trying to hook you guys up, maybe later we could go on double date or something”

“The school thot went full circle and went back to kosher dick” said Cartman while laughing “ half of the school hit that, so now she decided to give her turn to you Kyle, so sweet, she is now doing charity work”

“That’s why I did not want to say to you” sulked Stan “dude it is 202o don’t listen to this big piece of shit, Bebe is a hot and pretty girl, so what do you say?”

Kyle chuckled, it was so cute Stan making plans for him for he future which did not exist on Kyle's account, even with a push of Wendy he was always looking up for Kyle.

“No thanks” and he took the bottle from Stan’s loose hands.

“dude whyy? Just go on one date with her if you don’t click you don’t have have to marry her or something”

“Is that what Wendy said to you, yeah right. She is totally trying to cage Kyle so she can marry a rich Jew lawyer in 4 years. She is farsighted, I give her that. Not like she would actually date a daywalker like you after fucking Token”

Ouch, that hurt Kyle for some reason, he was already insecure about his looks but coming from Cartman he probably shouldn’t have cared but it hurt; but not like he was gonna give that satisfaction to that piece of shit.

“I don’t think you have the privilege to say that to me with that fat ass and fugly face”

“Come on Kyle girls love me”

“Elaborate on girls because your mom or prostitutes don’t count, especially in this case since they are in the same group ” and he finished the bottle in one swig, now he could not even see clearly the surrounding and objects around since his vision started to get blurry. At least now he did not have to commit to make an eye connection.

“Hey! Not kewl, I did not bring your bitch of a mom into this! Also at least I’ve had girlfriends who love me and cherish me but your faggy ass could not find anyone to fuck your ass other than the hippy here so the answer is kind obvious retard” Cartman said laughing, Kyle couldnt've cared less about the homophobic shit Cartman is accusing him of since at this point Kyle could only hear voices. His head dropped back to the sofa he was sitting next to.

“Kyle, you okay” he felt a hand on his shoulder. Since now his head was on a stable ground he could pick out the faces.

“Yeah I just need to go bathroom” he said to Stan while standing with holding onto the sofa.

“Do you need help”

“’s cool” he said and walked to the bathroom upstairs, he did not want someone barging in. He went to the bathroom, stand in front of the sink and washed his face then it hit him. This was it then, he had his fun and now it was at the point Cartman started to annoy him to death, this time literally. There was no point to delay the inevitable anymore. He took out the bottle from his pocket. Opened the lid and then his eye catched his reflection on the mirror. His cheeks were pink probably from the alcohol, and some of his forehead started to blush probably from the heat and because he resisted to take his hat back in the living room; then his eyes shifted to his dark green hat. He took it off and stared to his head for a while. He was truly ugly like Cartman said, his emerald eyes and pale skin could’ve been considered pretty if it weren't for his nose and frizzy hair. His nose was not that big but still he did not like how it sat on his face, then he started to run his hand on his hair which he truly hated it.

Then his hand dropped to his side,

“That's it” he announced lightly, like he did not know it and he needed to say it loudly to make it heard. He opened its lid put his palm by the lid and shook the bottle and two pills fell to his hand, it was so surreal but at the same time comforting. He was gonna end his life but he could not believe that was the reality, he lived this moment over and over in his head in this few days but it never felt real like this moment. Then he suddenly thought how last conversation he had was with Cartman, him saying how ugly he was, that fucking jerk, he felt his blood boil, that son of a bitch was so gonna regret it but he might’ve also think he killed himself because Cartman insulted him, No! He scowled. That was not the way he wanted to go, his end would not gonna get attributed to fucking Cartman he started shaking that son of a bitch, he could not keep his mouth shut for 10 minutes so he could die peacefully.

At that moment he felt the door clicked, did he not locked it, shit. He quickly tried to shove the two pills in his hand to his pocket but with his state of drunkenness and with panic his other hand slipped and the bottle fell to the sink with pills falling to the drain. No!

Door opened.

“You are not killing yourself here aren’t you, Stan said he was worried before he passed out because you would try to hang yourself or something so I came to check it up because I don’t want any dead bodies in my house that would decrease the market value” while making hand gestures nonchalantly. Kyle was furious. He turned his head slowly.

“You asshole!”

He quickly grabbed the collar of the bigger boys grey hoodie and slapped him to the bathroom wall.

"What the fuck" spat Cartman

“You have to ruing everything aren’t you! You could not keep your mouth shut or leave me alone for five minutes you fat fuck nazi son of a bitch!” he was shouting at this point, he realized his eyes were foggy; damn it, he was not gonna cry twice in front of this jerk. He pushed Cartman one last time with fury to the wall and turned around and quickly tried to wipe his eyes.

“dafuq Kahl”

No answer

"are you on your period or something?"...

“Kyle, are you okay?” he asked that so calm and with worry that Kyle never heard that tone from Cartman in a non sarcastic way.

“of course I am fine asshole what do you think” he answered trying to stabilise his voice as close to normal as possible. Then he felt a hand on his shoulder. Kyle look at Cartman with askant eyes without turning his head, he looked equally worried and a little confused. Then he quickly withdrew his hand.

There were an awkward silence between them maybe for the first time in a very long time.

"Kyle"

"what"

“Just if you want to sleep or something you can sleep in my room.”

“Why?” Kyle answered, he must be looking really pathetic if this jerk was offering him his bed.

“It’s much more comfortable than a sleeping bag, also be grateful that I am not making you sleep downstairs next to that hippy, I heard him throwing up to the carpet on the stairs before passing out. He better clean it up in the morning”

“weak” said Kyle, now at least his voice sounded normal.

“and Kenny was already sleeping on the beanbag with controller on his lap, at least he didn't have to listen Stan’s disgusting barfing”

Kyle chucked, he had a breakdown a minute ago and now they were talking about things and laughing. He wished Cartman would be like this more often, instead of being an insufferable baby.

Than they walked to Cartman’s room, Kyle fell to the bed face down the moment his legs touched the side of the bed. Cartman giggled.

“I knew my king size bed was good but now I see comparing it to your little stingy Jew child bed, it must’ve feel like a heaven”

He felt a weight in the mattress next to him, muffled through the pillow on his face

“How you know what size my bed is?” and turned his head to side, and seeing Cartman sitting on the bed confirmed the weight shift at the mattress.

“You talk like I’ve never been in your room Kyel”

“Not like you’ve been there for a while”

“Not that of you know”

“ _what_?”

“I am just kidding” Cartman put his one elbow on the bed, laying down while supporting his head with his hand.

“I just figured your parents would be too stingy to get you a new bed, and look at mine I’ve got this pretty thing 4 years ago I would've got one of those water beds If my grades were better, but it is still prett kewl”

“I can’t believe I’ve never been in your room for that long” Kyle spat without thinking, his mind was so cloudy with that emotion rollercoster

Cartman grinned looking into Kyle’s eyes.

“Well you never asked, if you asked I would be happy to show you” said Cartman probably sarcastically, at this point it was hard to draw the line in Cartman’s mannerism

“Shut up Carman” he hit him with a pillow.

“Ey! It would make sense for you to just to ask it” he said while winking

“It absolutely does not!” raged Kyle and maybe a little blushing, probably from the alcohol

“I mean Kyle, there were rumours-“

Kyle turned quickly to lie on his back and pushed a pillow into his whole face

“Shut up”

There was a brief silence and of course Cartman would not leave him alone with his obnoxious personality.

"So now you are done PMS'ing"

"ugh" Kyle said not lifting the pillow from face, but felt like if he did not make an explanation Cartman was gonna push it. 

"I was just drunk, let if go fatass"

"You sure there are not repressed gay feeling for me that made you push me like that, If you are secretly in love with me with something I won't tell your boyfriend who currently sleeping on his puke"

"That is totally not it, what do you want to hear want me to sing a hate song to you to prove it" he deadpanned at this point he didn't know what they are even talking about.

"You I think at some point better serenade me or some shit or this goes straight to your boyfriends ear, just sayin"

"I think you did that to me at some point" Kyle said out of nowhere getting serious he lifted the pillow which was standing on his face and looked to Cartman from his sideye without rotating his body. Cartman's cheeks were all flushed, probably because of the alcohol, even though he did not drink as much as others apparently he was drunk.

“Oh shit I remembered, how I sang that love song on your date with Nichole, you should be grateful to me without me she could've been still dating with a closed fag like yourself.”

“Yeah fatass"frowned Kyle "how I could’ve forget, you were really a racist pain in the ass back then” and turned his head to face Cartman’s face from the ceiling. “and you still are, sometimes”

“Hey! I let you sleep in my bed didn’t you, be grateful ungrateful Jew. Ungratefulness was the reason your ancestors got trapped in that desert for 4o years.”

“I was just stating the facts asshole and you proved my point and that is not even close”

“Hey, if you want to hit me from there I am not the only racist one here! What was up with you an the Canada-hate movement, that was very not accepting of you, sly bitch”

“I was against their beliefs not their actual existence you ass-wipe! There is a difference!”

“And now look who is not being non-exclusive, Jew. You think you are so special with that little perspective you created yourself. But in fact you were the dick back then, even your tree hugger butt buddy Stan wanted to stick to your neck and back then any not even for a sexual stuff”

“Yeah right” he rolled his eyes, it was getting harder to keep them open with all that alcohol in his system. He wondered if he could die from alcohol poisoning, then he wouldn't need to listen to Cartman. Then it hit him again. He actually tried to kill himself that night. Between Cartman and old memories he totally forgat about that. Not like he could do it now with the pills running into the Cartman’s sewage system by now, not that that sounded possible but he wished they would clog Cartman’s pipes.

“Just admit you were being a dick there Kyel” said Cartman with again his annoying fake-sweet voice, this time one hundred percent sarcastically.

“Shut up, It was the right thing to do and you know it and if you didn't think like that it would be you who would be killing me fat ass, you are the psycho one not Stan” at this point his eyes were almost closed

“Na-ah! That hippy wanted you dead because you were being a total douche, at that time I was dating Heidi so I did not want to deal with that so I just wanted you to kill yourself. But we both wanted you very dead”

Kyle opened his eyes, again this must be the night of ironies apparently.He felt sadness and apathy he knew well for a while kicking back in.

“is that so”

“Yeaa, I even prayed everyday just to make sure but you did not end up in a Jewish hell, so we had to solve it through diplomacy you stubborn bastard”

Cartman's irises were so big, he must be as intoxicated as Kyle. He wondered if they were gonna remember these moments tomorrow.

“You would love that don’t you?” Kyle asked slowly and a few pitches lower than he intended to. Cartman did not realize but he was in a completely different mindset now then he was a few minutes ago, he was not in the mood to argue anymore, nor that he had energy he just wanted to hear confirmation for his self loathing.

“‘Of course! you should just off yourself as soon as possible to make things easier for us, one less Jew in this World it would be one step closer to World peace” 

Kyle closed his eyes, he could no longer keep his eyes open from that vodka shots and maybe because of some feelings he might be feeling right now but he was was too drunk to process them.

“hmm maybe you are right” he said like a whisper, at this point he was just way too out to filter or mold his words.

This time Cartman opened his eyes, why was Kyle said that, that was weird even by Kyle’s PMS mood standards which he seem to be in for a few months.He did feel some changes in Kyle's manners during those months but when they were hanging around or playing games in private he was back to his old cheerful righteous self, so he did not dig it that much. Maybe he had said that maybe because he was as drunk and intoxicated as Cartman and maybe even more. He should not be picking on it, he really shouldn’t. Why he should even care. He did not care. What he should be having lunch for tomorrow maybe some leftover tacos? He should just close the subject, say something irrelevant or finish the conversation. But this isn’t right, he feels like there is something wrong, he feels it, he can’t explain but his guts tells him to push it.

“Get off the bed fat ass” Kyle pushed Cartman jadedly from the bed and from his thoughts, at least attempted to push him phsically.

“You said I could sleep here” Kyle continued. Cartman was to preoccupied, maybe with trying to read something that wasn’t there. and with something he should not be bothering himself with. He got off the bed and walked to the door but his mind was not stopping.

Why did he say that to me?

What

Why did you say that to me?

He put his hand to the doorknob, he was about the exit the room he shold've exit, he was too sleepy and drunk he just wanted to lay on a soft surface and just doze off but something was bugging his mind

Then suddenly the silence got broken.

“Why did you said maybe I was right”

“hmm”

Kyle at that point had to make extra effort to talk so he decided he did not want to put that much of an effort to fuck with Cartman. If he’s hopefully dying from alcohol poisoning he did not want his last moments to be bickering to Cartman or trying to talk back. That bastard better go fuck himself.

“Kyle’”

‘God he is not gonna let it go isn’t he’ he thought, that dedicated bastard, he knew when Cartman wanted something he could be a really dedicated greedy bastard until he gets what he wants, only if he put that effort into his classes.

“-what” he said annoyed, without opening his eyes.

“Why did you said maybe I was right”

Kyle frowned without opening his eyes obviously trying to shove Cartman off the room.

“what” he whispered annoyed

“Why did you said maybe I was right, you know...”

“ughh” he muttered and turned his head, he wanted to shove his face to that pillow again, if he has some energy left he would do that and try harder to ignore Cartman.

“Kyle, this is important!” Cartman said with a serious tone that was not fitting his profile

“go away” Kyle whispered so quietly that Cartman was almost not gonna hear it. Cartman,rolled his eyes, the jew obviously did not want to continue their conversation. Fine, ‘that stupid daywalker can go fuck himself’ he thought opening the door, even he was generously stupid (and probably drunk) enough to give him his bed, he was going soft and naive. I should better leave before I change my mind and shake up the ginger from bedding through stairs, the thought.

“Cartman” Cartman froze, he swore he heard it but it was so low that maybe his mind was imagining things. He was almost moving again, convinced that was a hallucination but the voice continued after a pause.

“I was gonna kill myself” Kyle mumbled with the same low decibel with a hoarse voice. Cartman froze again but this time from shock, what. He must’ve heard it wrong

“I was gonna overdose on sum pills but you made me panic so I dropped them- “ "good job fatass" the words were getting harder to get or maybe because it was the connotations the words carrying made Cartman weak on his knees. Cartman felt like boiling hot water was being poured all over his body. What was with this confession. _What?_ Was Kyle bullshitting him. Was that sneaky Jew trying to prank him? Wtf kind of a prank that is! Like if Cartman would care about that daywalker, so not even a successful prank what the fuck.

He turned his face slowly, Kyle was sleeping at the same positing that he was in when Cartman get off the bed. Maybe this was a joke, he was sleeping so peacefully with his chest moving slowly up and down with each breath he took, he obviously felt asleep during that short period of time, he watched him a few moments more to make sure Kyle was breathing normally then he left his room. And threw himself into his mom’s empty bed. He was so tired and intoxicated to interpret anything that just happened but it made him feel so fagged out, both physically and mentally. He closed his eyes but his mind was not stopping, playing those words he vaguely heard. What the fuck Kyle?


	3. Morning After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry I was kinda busy with uni and some mental problems. I finally got to finish this chapter, any suggestions and comments really appreciated. Also would you prefer reading more dialogues or text, if you say that at comments that would be really great so I can edit my next chapter accordingly.

Kyle woke up feeling terrible, both physically and mentally, he really should've considered continue drinking more moderately, his head was hurting like hell. He could not even open his eyes, at least he was lying on somewhere soft so that is a plus. But the room was way too bright wherever he was, he put his arm on his eyes as an attempt to block the sunlight but it was still to much bright, his room was usually never this bright,where was he even. Then he remembered. They were at Cartman’s house they were drinking and he went to bathroom and Cartman, fuck. He told Cartman.... why he had to say that to him. Out of all the people in the house he had to open up to Cartman. Now he could expect his pics or tweets about him in a weird suicidal emo-Kyle context even Kyle could not imagine.

He tried to sit up, his head was hurting like hell. He went to the bathroom to wash his face and freshen up. He lowered his face to wash his face more easy, it was gettin harder to keep his head straight with the hangover headache, when he lowered the face near the bowl he saw the familiar little plastic bottle on the floor from last night. He picked it up, It was the bottle of barbiturates he bought in yesterday. God, he was so stupid. He did not know why he feels like shit; is it because he failed his pathetic suicide attempt or because he lowered himself low enough to opening up to Cartman.

He put the bottle back into his pocket and looked for aspirins on the cabinets, he took one and washed his face properly. Now all he wanted to do was go home and sleep out last night and hope to forget it and pray for Cartman to forget it, like he actually would. He was not that drunk as much as Kyle remembered but maybe miraculously he hit his head somewhere and lost his memory of yesterday or some shit. He quickly go down the stairs without trying to make sound. He was at the end of the stairs then he head a sound.

“Hi Kyle” said Kenny from the sofa that he was lying on. Tv was open and some old telenova was playing at the background.

“Hi” answered Kyle quietly, his head was still hurting.

“Cartman is making some poptards in the kitchen so you woke up just in time” said Kenny turning back to watching TV.

“I am not that hungry I think I will just go home” Kyle murmured trying to sneak out without alarming Cartman who was apparently at kitchen.

“Look who woke up” Cartman said with a big plate of poptards on a big salad bowl. “I thought you already robbed my bedroom and sneak away from my window. I was about alert the police on a daywalker on run.”

“That sounds like something only you would do, fatass. not everyone is malavolent like you” Kyle said while frowning, he wanted to act normal but did not want to offend Cartman enough to say something about last night, maybe he forgat what happened yesterday,he thought, but he did not want to leave it to the luck. Stan was nowhere to be seen, it was safe to assume he went to meet with Wendy as he intended before, they were spending almost every weekend together. It would be weird if he didn't.

Kenny then switched the channel on TV when the Telenova went into commercials “Agreed, but I want to eat breakfast so no comment on that” said Kenny.

Kyle tried to avoid Cartman’s eyes, he was not that confident enough to meet with his eyes yet, and maybe he might never have to.

“I think I will just head home” said Kyle trying to scoot to the door.

“Come on Kyle, just eat with us. Don’t be a Stan” said Kenny trying to snatch a poptard from the enormous salad bowl full of poptards.

“Ey! Who said these are for other people Kenny”

Kenny frowned and hit Cartman on the calf from the sofa without getting bothering to switch his position “Don’t be a Cartman, Cartman!”

“You just lost your oxygen privileges too poor boy, stop devouring _my_ oxygen in _my_ house and use the free one on the Street like other poor people”

“Whatever, I have work afternoon anyways” said Kenny standing up and stole one poptard from the bowl quickly. “See you later Kyle”

In Kyle’s mind the bells of panic started to ring like crazy. He was so not ready to be alone with Cartman. “Wait Kenny! I will come with you, I forgat my Chem book at Stan’s house I need to get it”

“I can give you my book" said Cartman with an out of character generosity "Wendy and Stan are probably not even in Stan's his house. Even if they are, the best case scenario is they are writing gay poems about whales with his she-hippy at Stan's house and the worst case is they bang.”

“Well it’s true” said Kenny smilingly, "I would not disrupt them after waiting for whole week to have the whole house to themselves, I also will kinda first need to go home and change before work so see you later ” said Kenny and closed the door with a huge bang. They were left alone in the house, Kyle's anxiety was over the roof, what was this bastards plan was anyway, I will give you my chem book my ass, Kyle doubted even he owned one.

Cartman sat at the sofas armrest, eating a poptard and tried to see what was next on the TV and started zapping. The advertisements were really long especially for a Saturday broadcast.

“I should go” said Kyle

“Whatever” said Cartman without looking at him, he really should not intervene with this, he didin’t care, what he should even care thought Cartman but on the other hand the things he witnesses last might was so weird and out of character for Kyle to suddenly want to kill himself. If there was something he appreciated about Kyle that is his stubbornness and will to fight for what he though was right. This was not even a cry for help, Kyle actually went for it without letting anybody know or leaving a faggy note even his so called best firned, Stan seemed clueless. maybe Stan thought Kyle was going through some stuff and wanted to be left alone but yesterdays events showed that that was vert far fetched. If Cartman didin’t walked on Kyle at bathroom, he might… he did not want to think about it. He really never cared for Kyle but the thought of loosing him made him feel horrible. He did not wanted to see a broken Kyle; the fun was being able to have someone who he wan play with, make him suffer but it was not fun when Kyle stopped fighting back. He did not want to poke something without any difficulties that was not fun. And if Kyle would succeed on his plans, he might never again have that. Cartman gluped.

“Wait Kyle” said Cartman, he did not know why he said that nor what he was gonna say next. Kyle turned back to him, his face was so neutral except fort he dark circles around his face.

“We need to talk.”

“No the fuck we do not” said Kyle with an annoyed tone and turned back to the door.

“Yes we do, we you do. You need some explaining to do”

Kyle turned back impulsively and not having been eaten for a while did not help it.

“You can’t prove shit, it is your word against mine and I think we know which one of is more reputable on that departmant” said Kyle with a confidence he didn’t know where it came from. He was sick of beating around the bush, he knew Cartman knew and Cartman knew what he saw meant since he is not an idiot. He needed to solve this and take the matter in his own hands this time against this manipulator.

“Well I don’t think your mom would agree Kahl” said Cartman with his disturbing calm voice he used while explaining something.

“What?”

“You wouldn’t like your mom to find out what you were trying to yesterday, right? She would be so concerned that she might lock you somewhere, appropriately where you belong with that state of mind and whatever fucked up dying fantasy you have in your mind.” Said Cartman while looking directly at Kyle’s eyes, he can be actually pretty scary especially with his record but Kyle never held back against Cartman in his life and he was not planning to do now.

“Fine” he said, frustrated. Walked back to the sofa and sat at the sofa seat next to the armchair Cartman was sitting on and crossed his arms

“What do you want to keep your punchable mouth shut? My mac laptop? done you can have it; money? I have a bank account with some savings; want me to write your English essays, bring it on. Just keep your mouth shut, I won’t be needing those things soon anyways” said Kyle he was looking to Cartman with a dedication and fire that was not present for a while Kyle even thought he lost is until this moment.

Cartman was not expecting that, that will and passion to fight was what Cartman wanted, he did not want a pissy Kyle. He want to break and make Kyle suffer in his own terms and if Kyle had that passion still in him maybe he can force it outta him and to do that he needed Kyle to live.

“No, I have an other idea!" said Cartman with a smirk and a very dangerously slow voice "You will suck my balls Kyle.”

“What?” said Kyle, his arms fell from the firm arm cross he had to his thighs slowly. He was dumbfounded, that was totally not what he was expecting to hear. That was a weird request even when they were kids and now, what? 

Cartmans mouth started form a chuckle, then he started to laugh “Ahahahah Kahl your face, it’s so funny” He was laughing hysterically, Kyle still didn’t know what was going on in Cartman's messed up mind.

“Like I would let you anywhere near my balls, you would taint it with your Jew and ginger genes. I don’t want to end up having gingervites”

“That’s not what it is and that is not how genes work lard-ass, I would've said you knew it but at this point I have doubts” said Kyle, his heart rate started to go back to it’s normal pace but it was still beating really fast, he did not even realise his heart rate went up this much from.

“But I still want something from you” said Cartman, his mouth was still smiling but this time with a tint of an evil agenda. He scooted from the armrest of the sofa he was sitting on to the non existant little free place between Kyle and the armrest Cartman was formerly sitting on, he was almost technically on Kyle’s lap. He pointed his finger to Kyle and pushed his chest with his point finger a few times, this position and Cartman in general was starting to make Kyle very uncomfortable and for some reason hot. He was sweating like crazy.

“I want you to come to my house everyday for two weeks after school”

“What” said Kyle, it was a very confusing request even for him “Why?” he said frowning, looking at Cartman’s finger on his chest.

“Well you can do my homework, help me with classes, clean my room, domestic stuff and of course you will call me Sir while doing these stuff and will wear a maid costume”

“Absolutely fucking not” said Kyle pushing Cartmans finger with the back of his hand and standing up. Cartman almost fell into the sofa losing his balance with Kyle's weight not supporting him anymore.

Kyle was fuming. He headed to the door started walking. He was not gonna deal with this.

“Waait, you know I have your mom on speed dial, right?” said Cartman without letting Kyle taking two more steps to the door while getting his phone put of his pocket, he was still smiling.

“Why? No! you know what I don’t even want to hear your fucked up reasons why you even have my mom's number ” spat Kyle trying to preserve his temper and not to choke in on the spot.

“Come on Kahl, it is not that bad, think like helping a friend and doing good deeds. Maybe if you did one or two good deeds more you might en up in Jewish heaven” said while turning his telephone between his fingers like pen.

“You really think helping a racist bigot piece of shit like yourself will take me to heaven?” deadpanned Kyle, he was still angry but he knew who he was dealing with that’s why he needed to stay calm.

“You can never know” said Cartman nonchalantly “ Maybe you are only one deed short from the heaven.” standing up from the sofa. He put the phone back at his pocket and opened his hand to his either sides like he was actually offering a good idea.

“So you think I am a good enough of a person to go to heaven” asked Kyle skeptically.

“Well you do some good stuff once in a while, you like helping people” said Cartman unsarcastically.

Kyle lowered his eyes to the floor and made his hand into a fist “ Well committing suicide is a very big sin I doubt that“ he said truthfully, he didn’t know what gotten into him he was starting to get emotional again, why he was getting into moods when he was near Cartman. 

Kyle saw Cartman’s legs walking towards him from his limited peripheral vision. Then he felt Cartman’s hand on his chin, lifting his head slightly so he can meet with his eyes. “Well you can never know without living” said Cartman again with that Cartmas-esque expression. That son of a bitch, he was openly saying to a suicidal person to kill himself. But he was not expecting anything different from him so that was fair. Also he would prefer this rather than some crying session and a ‘suicide is bad’ speech, that was something totally Stan would do. Also he would alert all of his family and his extended family with panic. So he should be grateful that this is Cartman who found it out since he doesn’t care about anything other than his own self gratification.

“Fine!” said Kyle finally meeting Cartman's eyes “But I won’t do your homework I will only help you do it, and most definitely not gonna call you a sir or wear fucking costume to be a part of your sick fantasy” and put his hand to Cartman's wrist but Cartman did not let go, Kyle was already getting dizzy from standing too long without eating so he squeezed Cartman's wrist as hard as he could to show he still didn't give up.

“Well I am the reason why you will be doing these things so I won’t tell anyone, right? I should get something in return. so you serving and acting for my fantasy only makes it fair” He shifted his hand from Kyle's chin to his cheek and then side of his neck. Kyle went full red. “Fuck off” he wanted to shout angrily but his voice betrayed him so it sounded more weaker then he intended, more like a loud whisper. Cartman started to message his neck with his palm. Kyle closed his eyes, he didn't remember the last time he had a physical contact with someone else or if he did on this level. He didn’t know what was going on and did not want to acknowledge the situation, Cartman’s hand moving between his face and neck was feeling for some reason really good. Then he felt an other hand on his hair, pulling his head back and felt a kiss on his neck, he moaned. Okay what was going on the thought he opened immediately and pushed Cartman. Cartman also had a hint of redness around his cheeks. “What are you doing?” asked Kyle, that came out way more rational then he thought considering the situation. “Not much Kyle, nothing you didn’t wanted” Kyle was feeling blood pooling around his face increasing every second. He squinted his eyes “I don’ t know what you are after fatass but it better not be some evil scheme or I will kick your ass”

“Sure Kyle” said Cartman smirking. Kyle didn’t like it, Cartman definitely had an agenda under all this. Kyle's mind went blank what was he talking about, there was something. How Kyle could’ve forget, what was even happening before Cartman tried to, ugh. He remembered; the deal.

“I am not wearing a costume.” Said Kyle trying to remember all the other information that got out of his mind, like his home address and names of his friends, and stuff. His mind was a mess right now, filled with emotions which he though for sure were gone forever. He could not recall any details, except Cartman.

“Ugh fine, buzzkill Puffy head” Cartman he rolled his eyes.

“And I am not calling you a sir, asshole” “

“No”

“What”

“I already gave you a compromise, if it weren’t for me your totally hetero hippy life mate would've found you and now you would be already in a institution wearing one of those straitjackets strapped to a bed so take it or leave it” said Cartman, mimicking to check his nails. He was really unbearable.

“What if someone hears is that what you want known with after I've gone, the fag boyfriend of me! also that do you-“

“Yeah yeah if your totally hetero hippy husband, other people or Kenny is present you don’t have to but to make up with it whenever we are in private you will refer me as Sir”

“like, what?” Kyle was so confused today, he don’t remember a weirder day like this since their childhood, still it was wild.

“Like, in private anytime Jew, and you were supposed to be the smart one ugh”

“Fuck you Cartman” Kyle was speechless but not like he had a better choice.

“So deal?” asked Cartman shifting his eyes from his fingers and looking straight to Kyle’s emerald eyes. There was something piercing about them. Kyle felt like he was being pierced under scrutinizing Brown eyes. He gulped.

“Deal”

“Kewl” said Cartman turning immediately back to his normal fatass self, that was a very quick chance on the mood. He sat on the sofa and took the poptard fulled bowl back and started eating it while a game Show started on TV which both of them forgat was even on.

“uh so, I will be going” said Kyle

“whatever, sure Jew” said Cartman, opening the volume of the TV with the remote.

Kyle almost arrived the entrance door and was about to turn the doorknob and try to forget whatever even happened there.Then he heard Cartman yelling.

“Be here Monday at 17:00”

“We get out of school together fatass” said Kyle without daring to looking back

“I don’t care, if you are not here 17:00 sharp there will be consequences”

what the fuck was the psychotic bastard was talking about, what consequences but he did not want to push today he lived enough stuff to unpack emotionally so that might be question for an other day. He pushed the door with turning doorknob.

“And eat something beforehand you look like a ginger cotton candy on a stick” said Cartman. Kyle got out and closed the door with all of his power. That jerk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna make Cartman bite Kyle and do some kinky stuff but I wanted to start soft. Stay tuned for more kinky stuff-


	4. Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I am so sorry about the delay. I had some mental issues going on, the pandemic effected us all. Now I try to be prodactive. Don't worry I will try to upload the chapters according to my set plan :) Enjoy!  
> Also I looked at the previous chapters and holy shit, so many spelling mistakes! I will try to edit them and re-upload.

It was Monday morning and Kyle woke up without the alarm, he was not able to sleep normally that weekend, he could not stop thinking about Cartman and what happened between them on Saturday. It was so surreal that it felt like a dream, like Cartman threatening him to do his chores, well that was so Cartman but still there was something out of character about Cartman that he could not put his finger on, like him sitting almost on Kyle’s lap that could be a joke in a Cartman way because he has some fucked up sense on jokes and teasing but him pulling his hair and kissing his neck. Ugh Kyle could not even think about it without going completely red.

He took his extra pillow and shoved it on his face. He even moaned while Cartman was kissing him, that was unbearable even to think about. How he was supposed to look at his face or to any of his friends faces at school, and what if Cartman told that to someone. Cartman knew how to start a good story, even if Kyle would deny, it would surely turn into some weird rumor in no time. Even some girls were thinking they were dating even months later he serenaded him in forth grade. Kyle was not even gay and more importantly it was _Cartman_ , maybe he had a kink of his hair getting pulled and Cartman just stimulated it. After the hair Kyle hated and tried so hard to hide it making him turned on could be the biggest irony of life. Life was so much easier a week ago when he was sure that he was gonna kill himself. Now it suddenly got so much complicated in a short time of two days, how a sleepover at Cartman’s house could’ve changed so munch in so little time. He truly hated it. Also now today not only he has to look at Cartman and his friends in the eye but he also has to endure after school activities with Cartman, it was truly a bummer. While Kyle was contemplating his life choices his mother entered Kyle’s room

“Good morning Kyle, you better get dressed or you will be late” Kyle knew he had at least half an hour to catch the bus, his mother liked to rush Kyle just in case so he won’t be late to school. The amount of trust of his mother has to his time managing abilities was really astronomical. Kyle knew he needed to kill some more time before going downstairs so he can excuse himself without sitting at the table and act like he is eating. It was starting to get tiring a while ago, trying to act like he is eating something while distracting his family or at the end failing and not to look suspicious having to eat something so he found the being late trick, also like this he should not have to listen to her mother gloating that she red an article about Brown or UCLA or any Ivy League school her mother got obsesses that week. Only if Kyle had the quarter of her mothers enthusiasm on going to Law school maybe he would actually go along with it.

“I am telling you guys it is true.” said Cartman

“No way” said Kenny while pouting, it was 7 am and apparently Cartman already found something to bug about. He hoped it was not anything related with Kyle, that was his only wish for today.

“Hi Kyle” said Stan turning to Kyle

“Hi” responded Kyle, trying to act normal “ Whats up?”

“Nothing much Cartman is just bullshitting” said Kenny rolling his eyes

“Ey, I am not, poorness can really be contagious it is scientific! Just look at the map, poor people always live closer to other poor areas and at the same places. It's probably a waterborne disease so Kenny I think ıt is better for you to not drink from the school fountain, just in case you know. Not to spread it to other bystanders like us”

“Fuck yo u man” said Kenny with a static voice and get on the bus without waiting the newly arrived buss door to open fully. Then Stan got in after the door opened fully. Kyle was about to get in but felt Cartmans hand holding his wrist. He turned his head to him.

He felt Cartman leaning into his hair he was so close that he could almost feel Cartman’s breath on his skin “Don’t forget today after school, jew. I will be waiting” he said in the same low tone he spoke Saturday just before him kissing his neck. Kyle’s face went full red. He definitely did not need to remember those at 8 in the morning.

“Dude you coming?” said Stan from the bus. Cartman let go of his wrist and Kyle went into the bus without saying or looking back to Cartman. He did not say anything to Cartman during the bus ride or even looked at his direction. He was already busy enough to hide his erection over his pants. He thought ıt was normal since well there as some stimulus and unrelated to Cartman and his gender he could get excited. He closed his eyes, he did not picture his day starting like this.

Kyle was happy that he could avoid Cartman the whole day, it was not even hard with his lunch break again being taken by his AP classes and since Stan was not on his neck questioning Kyle with worried eyes, that meant Cartman also did not tell anything on both issues. Not about his suicide attempt or whatever they had at Saturday and on top of that if that embarrassment was not enough, he had an erection just from Cartman’s talk in the morning. It was not even dirty or something but why Cartman had to say it like that. He must have playing with Kyle, that jerk. At least he did not say anything but it was already still embarrassing and now he was walking to that asshole’s house willingly, to God knows what that psycho planned to make Kyle do.

He was so lost into his thoughts thinking about what will happen when he will arrive to Cartman’s house that he was already on his doorstep. He had to lie to Stan saying his mother had some chores that Kyle needed to do after school so he could walk to Cartman's house alone with using back roads, so nobody technically knew where he will be today so he hoped Cartman would not lock him in basement or do some shit like that.

He rang the doorbell and Cartman immediately opened the door, “Well well well, look who’s favorite Jew showed up”

He gloated while leaning into the doorframe and crossing his arms on his chest

“You literally called me here fatass” said Kyle

“Well you still came” said Cartman still smilling nonstop, he opened the door fully so Kyle could enter. He was still watching Kyle walking to the stairs without disturbing his position on the doorframe.

“So?” said Kyle turning back to Cartman. Cartman finally closed the door and walked back into the living room. “So what?”

“So why I am here? What are we doing?” asked Kyle

“I don’t know why you are here Kyel" said Cartman and sat on the sofa and started playing with his phone. Kyle was getting furious “Why you called me here fatass, let’s do it so I can finally go back home” 

“Eager are we Kyel, is it that time of the mounth already” murmured Cartman without looking up from his phone

Kyle tried to massage his temples with his hand, he needed to stay calm while Cartman still on his phone playing some game that made annoying sounds.

“Cartman, what you have in your mind as a plan today. Tell me so we can start and maybe I can go home earlier”

“Why” deadpanned Cartman, the voices on his phone increased, he must've level up on the game because the sound effects were more frequent now.

“What do you mean why?” Kyle was annoyed and genuinely confused, what was this idiots game anyway.

“Like what do you have at home that you don’t have have here. Even as a plus your bitch of a mom is not here so you should be happy” announced Cartman with a high but stable voice. The sounds on his phone died with a high note, he probably died on the game thought Kyle. Cartman finally looked up from the phone to Kyle's face.

“Tell me Kyle what is it that you have at home that can’t wait” added Cartman with the same curious and high voice that is full of fake sincerity.

“I-“ Kyle was speechless, from Cartman’s question and also from his piercing eyes. He was looking at him like he could read his mind. Kyle did not like it. He could call him s slur or something but considering his condition as his 'honorary part time slave' he did not want any conflict also something in his eyes was pushing Kyle to be sincere he did not want to lie.

“Ug I think- ....I don’t know” admitted Kyle dumbfounded he turned his eyes away from Cartman, why he was sweating again. Then Cartman averted his eyes back to his phone. From the sounds it looked like he started again playing the same game. Kyle stood there watching Cartman playing with his phone then he walked to the sofa and sat next to Cartman. If he was gonna kill his time by playing games that was fine by Kyle but he was not gonna stand like a moron the whole day.

After he sat he turned his head to Cartmans side a little so see the game he was hearing of the effects for the last 10 minutes. Apparently Cartman was playing a 8-bit game similiar to Pacman but he was trying to shoot spaceships. He watched Cartman play for a while without thinking anything else, like being mesmerized. Then the dying sound of the game woke him up from his doze off state. Cartman made a sound that indicates he was annoyed from the second time lost in a row. He really hated losing.

Then suddenly Cartman turned his head to Kyle from his phone

“So what now?”

Kyle frowned “What do you mean, you said you had work that needed to be done?”

“You are not the old sly Jew I knew of you Kyle, you need to practice more on your stalling skills”

Kyle rolled his eyes and when Cartman did not continue explaining he looked back to Cartman's brown eyes which were already looking directly into Kyle’s face 

“So what, we are gonna sit like that doing nothing?” questioned Kyle

“Well if that's what I want, yes”

“So will I still be allowed to go when the time is over”

“Noone is keeping you by force Jew you can leave anytime I don’t care” he said turning his had back to the screen and starting an other level on his phone.

“You know what I mean fatass” yelled Kyle, he was getting impatient

“Yeah Yeah sure just wait until the time finishes and go” said Cartman playing on his phone, he was obviously trying to pass a hard level.

“Oh okay said Kyle” looking back to the Wall across, that was weird but he was not gonna question it since he just wanted to go back home in one piece. After a while he got bored and again started watching Cartman’s phone and his attempts to shoot a spaceship while physically trying so hard and making faces and jerking his arms involuntarily, his ticks were too funny to Kyle so he started to laugh and suddenly Cartman died again with the annoying losing effect sound following.

“You think this is funny bastard, okay you try then we’ll see” said Cartman handing out the phone to Kyle

“Oh,okay” said Kyle taking the phone “ It should not be that hard”

“Just play it and you’ll see” said Cartman.

Kyle pushed the start button and started to shoot the spaceships and died at his second attempt.

“HA HA I told you” Cartman barbed next to Kyle.

“Shut up, I am trying” murmured Kyle, and started playing again, after a few try shoots he was starting to get better, he was so concentrated on the game that he forgat Cartman was sitting next to him watching. The suddenly he felt a hand on his head which still had a hat on.

“Why you are always wearing that stupid hat anyways?” asked Cartman breaking the silence of the games effects.

Kyle tried to answer without trying to lose his concentration and trying to hide his uneasiness

“Because I hate my fucking hair and you know it”

Cartman was taken aback with that answer, he was not waiting Kyle to be that hurtfully honest. He did not even know why he was hurt so Kyle hates his hair not a big deal but that stance was so stupid in its core, his hair was so pretty. He tugged Kyle’s hat down and threw it on the floor with carelessness. His eyes shifted to his curly red hair with long locks, they were so pretty and looked like they would feel really soft against his fingers and without thinking he started to run his fingers between Kyle’s curls. Kyle felt a sudden shiver but not a bad one, he was so shocked that he froze and felt like he dislocated from the world he could only play the game thanks to his motor skills. Kyle's finger almost slipped when Cartman started to move his hand on his hair. He almost got shot by one of the enemy spaceships but at last minute he could hold himself together and continued to playing the game, it was like the weekend happening all over again him freezing under Cartman's touch. Feelling Cartman’s fingers roam around his hair and scalp was so weird but surprisingly it was also calming. Kyle was feeling his eyes getting cloudy with the texture of fingertips in his hair. Cartman took one of his curls between his fingers and started to play with it like that was the most normal thing ever.

“Why?” spoke Cartman 

“W-what” Kyle tried to sound firm as he could with this unusual situation. With Cartman talking he realized this was actually happening and he did not zone out nor he wasn't dreaming but he had no idea what Cartman was asking.

“Why you hate it?” Cartman repeated the question while still playing with the same curl he took into his hand, he was slowly tugging it back and fort to see how his hair is actually long. "Your hair"

“because it is ugly and messy and hard to manage” Kyle was trying so hard to sound normal without loosing his concentration on the game. If he concentrated enough maybe he could isolate himself from this weird situation. It was a challenge considering his arch rival was playing with his hair. He did beat Cartman’s record a while ago but kept on playing. At this point the score was unimportant, he needed to continue playing to keep himself concentrated on something other than Cartman’s hand, which now released the one curl and started to play with the curls at the back of Kyle’s head and nape.

Cartman felt it was almost like he was petting a curly dog but with a very smooth silky hair complexion. He did not know why but he wanted that and when he wanted something he would get it eventually that was his rule.

“Thats’s stupid” continued Cartman finally

“what” Kyle frowned in confusion not sure if Cartman could see his expression tho from the angle.

“-that you are thinking that” added Cartman “you are so fucking stupid.”

Kyle frowned deeper, he wanted to say something hurtful back but he realized Cartman just admitted he liked his hair, his ginger hair. Cartman was so unpredictable and out of nowhere during these few days.

“You are stupid” faltered the redhead “I thought you hated ginger hair” Kyle was at this point struggling with keeping up with the game and trying to stay calm, with him leveling up so high, now escaping from shielded spaceships fires was not making it any easier. Also Cartman’s hand still roaming in his hair was not helping.

“Not from your hair. It has something non ginger in it makes it so smooth" responded Cartman.

Kyle at that moment failed to a realize a fire that hit his spaceship and he lost his only life. Definitely not from being distracted by Cartman’s words or his fingers now playing with his baby hairs at his neck. The game had started to get really hard and that's why he slipped. He needed to repeat it aloud to also make himself believe to it.

“level 7 was to hard” Kyle repeated his thoughts

“Did not look that much different than other levels, just you need to shift your hand quicker to up”

“Look who is talking! I beat your score by two levels fatass” Kyle turned his head to Cartman frowning, Cartman still was not letting his hair go. Now with Kyle’s face rotated to him with this proximity he was almost on his lap, just like the last time. Kyle started to blush with that thought, what was happening during these last 3 days was like a fever dream, more like a nightmare.

“You just got lucky” 

“Ugh you are unbelievable” groaned Kyle turning his head back to the phone, but the sentence came out less pissed off than he intended. Now the screen had only game over text floating between two explosions but he did not want to press any buttons; the feeling of Cartman's fingers were so good, the situation could be weird but Kyle at that point didn’t care, it was Cartman who initiated so if he tried to use it against him he could always throw that back at him. His eyes were closing slowly but suddenly he felt Cartman’s hand sliding from his nape into his shit from the back of the collar of his shirt, Kyle's eyes snapped open and a low moan slipped from his mouth. Now Cartman was almost massaging his upper back with his hand slipped into his collar, contacting directly to his skin; his hand was not cold but everywhere he touched Kyle felt a shiver approaching.

“You need yo eat more kosher food of yours, I can almost feel your bones Kahl” remarked Cartman, like that was the most normal thing to say or do or what the heel was he trying to get to.

"Shut up" whispered Kyle trying to ignore the fact that this is Cartman massaging him but he was failing.

Kyle was feeling good but hearing Cartman's words kinda brang him back to the reality again, the mesmerized cursed time zone was happening again. Like this was not real but also real. He was not making sensing at this point he needed to react.

“What are you doing” asked Kyle, even himself afraid from the answer but he somehow could not overcome his curious nudge, he wanted to know Cartman's motives, he usually knew them, it was most of the time hurting Kyle out of self pleasure, but this was nothing like that. He was confused about Cartman's motives for the first time in his life.

“Nothing much Kyle just you seemed pretty tense from playing that mobile game, that must be the peak of your accomplishments I guess, like the top tier moment of your life”

“Asshole” snapped back Kyle

“Okay turn a little” said Cartman while putting his other hand on Kyle’s shoulder on an attempt to rotate him the other direction so he could have a better access to his back. Kyle did as he asked. He was having a hard time with all of these, how Cartman was so calm. He decided he didn't care he just wanted to feel him hands on his back and feel some kind of joy, those were rare to him these days. Then he felt Cartman's other hand slipping under his shit and climbing up to his upper back. Kyle tried to not to moan but it was too late, but thank to God Cartman did not comment on that. At least Cartman was now not facing him so he could not see Kyle's face going pink. Cartman’s big hands were feeling good on his skin for Kyle to imagine or ever admit. Cartman removed his hand that he tucked in Kyle’s collar and removed his hand from Kyle. Kyle felt the loss of the hand but now his other hand’s moving range was better with angles, Cartman pressed the palm of his hand with his wrist to Kyle's skin so now Kyle was feeling Cartman's whole arm at his back and some of Cartman’s shirts sleeves. He was making rounds and drawing 8’s with his palm at his back. Kyle could not remember the last time someone massaged his back, and suddenly he felt Cartman’s mouth on his neck and he moaned with shock. He could feel Cartman sucking his skin, that bastard better not leave any marks. Then he felt him biting him and licking the skin in his mouth with his tongue. Kyle was so turned on that he was not caring that he was whimpering while breathing, he hoped Cartman was too busy to realize the bulge that was forming in his pants. He noticed he was still holding Cartman’s phone with his numb hand which was resting on one of his calf, he tried to move it over his crotch as an attempt to feel more guarded in front of Cartman. The phone was not that big but still he felt more protected. Then he felt Cartman's empty hand going back to his hair and tugging it back so he could get more access to his neck. Kyle whimpered a little at the tug, his head was now on Cartman's head and Cartmas was continuing to pull, nor enough to actually hurt him but hard enough to feel it in his scalp. Now Cartman's hand was not as gentle like when it was messaging his scalp a few minutes ago. There was some other urge now. He felt Cartman's lips leaving the spot he was biting and coming a little closer to Kyle’s upper neck while licking the trail, then he again started to suck the new stop he found. Kyle was breathing from his mouth now loudly he felt like they already passed that point of trying to holding back.

With his new peripheral range Cartman’s eyes dropped to the forgotten phone in Kyle’s hand that was just over his crotch area. Cartman smirked, like did this sneaky Jew really though he was slick didn’t he. His non massaging hand left tugging Kyle’s curles back and Kyle's head dropped to Cartman’s shoulder now without the force that is keeping it. He moved his hand to Kyle's hand that was holding the phone and held his wrist. Kyle was so dislocated from reality that he was not even holding the phone correctly, with Cartman holding his wrist the phone slipped from his fingers and dropped to the ground with a thump. Cartman while continuing abusing Kyle’s neck thought that will surely leave a mark that. He pulled Kyle’s wrist to the sofa from where it was resting on his crotch, runing Kyle’s poor attempt to hide his erection. Then he palmed Kyle from his jeans, Kyle whimpered. He was so hard. Cartman smirked, he knew it, then he bit Kyle’s neck one last time and started talking without lifting his lips from his neck

“Such a good girl you are Kyle, so hard for me” Kyle felt himself going full red. That bastard. But he was not trusting himself to talk back considering his position. He was not gonna give Cartman that satisfaction of Kyle attempting to talk with his hoarse voice. At this point he did’t care he wished Cartman would shut the fuck up and start moving his hand again instead of palming his dick through his jeans.

Then at that moment Kyle heard the the most horrible sound he could imagine at that moment, he heard a key getting into a lock and key turning in it. He quickly pushed Cartman’s hand which was resting on his erection and elbowed Cartman on his stomach to the point of him shifting to other end of the sofa. Cartman made a sound indicating that he got hurt from Kyle’s elbow. Good, thought Kyle that asshole deserved it anyways. He quickly fixed his shirt that Cartman messed up by sliding his hand under. He was just tugging his shirt back that the door opened. It was Liane, with shopping bags in her hands.

“Oh hi Kyle, I didn’t know you were gonna stay this late. Eric told me you were just gonna work on some project. Would you like to stay for dinner”

Kyle quickly tried to fix his hair trying to ignore that Cartman’s fingers were there traveling for the last 20 minutes.

“No thank you Mrs. Cartman” spat Kyle quickly and stood up trying to find his bag quickly looking for it on floor with his eyes without not trying to make eye connections with either of the Cartmans for different reasons. They he spotted the bag and strategically held the bang on his front. Cartman chucked a little, so his tactic to hide his erection did not go unnoticed from his piece of shit. He quickly head to the door while trying to avoid Liane without making any eye connection.

“later” said Kyle quickly to not raise any suspicion because running away without saying anything would be weird.

Kyle heard Cartman say “waiting you also tomorrow” just before he slammed the door, maybe a little harder than he intended. But his hands were too numb to adjust the power. He started walking fast to his home with a red face, hoping the cold weather would calm him down a little. and bring some sense into his mind.


End file.
